Aubagio

It’s been over 2 years since my last post, so basically MS-wise I’m doing pretty good.  We moved back to Oregon last year and I have a new neurologist.  I have been on injectible medications for 18 years, so I asked to start using the daily oral medication - Aubagio.  It turns out that one of the side effects is increased blood pressure.  My PCP doubled my blood pressure medication, but it kept climbing.  When it hit 206/112 I decided it wasn’t worth the risk.  Aubagio takes a long time to get out of your system, so I have tripled my original blood pressure medication until it gets back to a normal range.  I was able to get an appointment with my neuro on Dec. 7th, so I will ask him to put me back on Copaxone 3x weekly injections.

Aside from the Aubagio fiasco and emotional issues, things are pretty good.

Well it turns out that my doctor set up a new prescription for me but no one called to let me know.  Basically I'm back to the Lexapro but at a higher dose.  Things are better now.  I have never had that kind of reaction to anti-depressant drugs before.  Having two prescriptions in a row affect me adversely was a real surprise.

Another medication related thing that bothers me is that the main drug used for MS fatigue, Provigil, is not covered by most insurers.  It is too expensive to buy outright, so my doctor found another solution - Dextroamphetimine.  The insurance will cover this.  I don't take them often, but they really work when I do 🤗.

Anyhow, I am feeling much better for now

Joke's On Me

After getting my head even more effed up with Trazodone, I can't even get a callback from my doctor.  I do not like calling for help, but I was feeling desperate and suicidal.   Maybe she thought I'd just go ahead and kill myself so she didn't need to call back.  I called Wednesday, when I didn't get a callback I tried again on Thursday.  Now it is Saturday and still no call.

I decided to just stop the medication on Wednesday night, I assumed that any withdrawal effects couldn't be worse than what I was already feeling.  At least the suicidal urge has stopped for now, but I still have a headache.  Hopefully, it will pass soon.

Medication nightmare

It has been awhile since I have written a blog entry, but I feel the need right now.  MS has a lot of well documented symptoms - gait problems, loss of mobility, optic neuritis, parasthesia, numbness, etc. 

The mental health aspects can be very confusing.  Depression is common, but poorly understood in relation to MS.  I am not depressed because I have MS, but the brain lesions can intensify emotions that cause depression.  I have been on some form of antidepressant for almost 20 years.  Recently I have been having severe episodes of anxiety.  My Neurologist prescribed Zoloft.  I tried it for 2 weeks, it kept me in such a highly agitated state, that I was ready to blow over just about anything.  The doctor replaced the Zoloft with Trazodone.  I was so hopeful that this was going to be "the fix", but sadly, it has been worse than the Zoloft for severe side effects.  I have had a headache almost ever since I started the medication on Jul. 22.  I break down in tears a lot and feel so hopeless, I am having serious suicidal thoughts.  I called my Neuro back yesterday to find out what to do next, but I have not heard back.  These two recent phone calls were really hard for me to make.  I never call my doc between appointments, until now.  I skipped last night's Trazodone, but I still have a headache and still feel hopeless and worthless.

Oh did I mention that I recently gave up drinking?  Drinking was a way to self-medicate.  My hubby thought that I was self-medicating too much, so I quit.  The Zoloft was supposed to take the place of alcohol, but I ended up needing to drink to calm the effects of the medicine.   There appears to be nothing I can do to calm the effects of the Trazodone though.  At this point, I just want to go back to my Lexapro and wine.  I know that the suicide solution isn't the way, but sometimes...

Headaches

I have had headache everyday for the past 2 weeks. I thought I had an appointment with my neuro today, but they did not show me on the schedule. They set me up for an appointment on the 17th so I'll have to remember to mention the headaches.
I originally had an appointment for 12/20/11 but since I was going to be gone, I called to reschedule. That's when I was set up for today's appointment. I seem to remember that the person I spoke with in Nov. couldn't find me on the schedule, but finally set me up with a 1/10/12 appointment... Now I wonder who I was talking to back in November, since the Dec. appt. was never cancelled and a new appt. with my neuro was not set?

Beyond the Positive

I have been working really hard this year to focus on the positive in my life.  Believe me, there is a lot of positive!  I have been trying to ignore the negative, but it just doesn't go away, so I am setting up this new blog to talk about my MS.

I am lucky because my MS hasn't taken away my mobility.  I do get tired out easily, but at least I can still walk.  My biggest problem is cognitive issues.  At least once a day I walk into a room to do something and draw a total blank as to why I am there.  I know... this happens to everyone... but everyday?!  Another recent annoyance is a series of silent migraines.  I call them silent, because the pain isn't as pronounced as with a full blown migraine.  They make me irritable, sensitive to light and noise, and sometimes dizzy.  For the past week I have had at least one episode everyday.

If that's not enough, I am having problems with both urinary and fecal incontinence.  The latter is a bigger problem obviously.  The bowel movement comes on suddenly and without warning.  Most of the time it is just a bit of leakage, but sometimes, it is much worse.  It happens at least once a month.  My husband suggested diapers, but I am fighting this suggestion... for now.

I am feeling a headache coming on so I guess that is enough for now.